And God Said, “Let Alex Write,” and Alex Wrote


“You’re spoiled,” she said.

“You’re right. Although I am the oldest kid in the family, I feel as if God treats me like the youngest one. I get whatever I want.”

I just told my good friend about all the good things happening in my life — how when I go after something, God grants it to me. The things I could tell you … they would leave you slack-jawed.

But I don’t always feel on top of the world. Earlier tonight, I went through something akin to an existential depression — a feeling of life being so meaningless. I kept thinking to myself that I should write, but I couldn’t muster the will-power to do so.

I have a book in the works that have been on hiatus ever since she left. It is a rock-solid book that will enable the average Joe to achieve higher returns on his investments compared to what 85% of the smartsy-fartsy, Wall Street portfolio managers can muster. The strategy is so good, I personally put all my money into it.

Even though I outlined the whole book already and have written about a quarter to a third of it, I didn’t want to finish it. What’s the point? It won’t sell. There are already a million books on investing. And anyways, I’m too tired after learning about writing good fiction all morning. I don’t have enough energy to write in the evening.

But it was only 9:00 PM — way too soon for bed. What am I gonna do in the meantime for the next two or three hours?

I decided to re-read Dean Wesley Smith’s “Killing the Sacred Cows.” I’ve never met the guy, but if I did, I would give him a great big bear hug. I do not think my arms could wrap around him, but I could try. Reading his articles instilled hope and gave me back my motivation to write.

In some ways, I place an unnecessary pressure on myself that each of my books must be a success. But then I read this gem from Dean:

Also, the early days of trying to learn how to tell stories is difficult and very frustrating. The people around you think you are wasting time, your family talks in worried whispers behind your back, your workshop hates everything you type, editors give you form rejections, and even your cat won’t go near your computer chair. Everything about learning how to write stories in the early professional days is hard. No argument.

The early days of trying to learn how to write professional-level fiction is an ugly extension and reminder of learning to write as a child. Very basic fear. It’s a wonder any of us ever learn how to write novels, now that I think about it.

And of course there’s Practice.

Don’t even mention that ugly word to fiction writers. Fiction writers, unlike any other brand of art, think they don’t need to practice. However, early days of trying to get published (and make decent sales indie) forces practice on all of us. No one buys our practice sessions and calls us brilliant, so we keep putting out stories and novels until someone does buy one or we get more than family buying our books.

And this, of course, is one main problem with indie publishing. Practice. You practice and publish, but you should have no expectations. Hard to do. Easier back in the day when all you got were rejections for years. Putting your practice sessions up on Amazon and making no sales is harder to deal with. Not as clear cut.

Practice is hard work for the most part. Anyone who played a sport or a musical instrument knows this fact. So when fiction writers are practicing in the early years, it is hard work.

Every article I write for my site …

Every book I publish and offer for sale …

Everything I read to educate myself …

are all part of my journey to become a master wordsmith.

If I keep it up, I will get better and better and better. (And consequentially, wealthier and wealthier and wealthier.)

True, I’m not working on my book at the moment, but on this article. At the very least, I’m still writing! This is a good thing as a writer … to write.

It has been less than a year since getting into writing full-time. But to be honest, I don’t spend all that much time writing. I’m ashamed to say I haven’t met my publishing goals because I haven’t been writing all that much. Maybe two or three months of hardcore pounding away at the keyboard and then the rest of the year frolicking away my time (and working on my secret project). I spend my day reading, meditating, strolling, praying, and exercising. What a lackadaisical life.

And the money keeps on flowing in. Each month more than the previous. Imagine what will happen next year … or in 10 years … or in 20 years. It’s not a question of if I’ll become rich, but when.

There’s still a long way for me to go. I wanna branch out into fiction to improve my craft, and that is a separate beast from non-fiction. As I keep on writing and improving, I will have more books to sell — which will result in even more money. It’s like rolling a snowball down a mountain. Eventually, it will become an avalanche.

What other business allows you to make money from the works you have done years ago? What other business allows you to make money by expressing your creativity & individuality? What other business allows you to work when you want to work … without a boss lording over your shoulders?

Quitting residency was a very hard decision. I thought I screwed up my life for good. But God is in control. Since He is in charge, I couldn’t screw up too much for too long. The things I’ve gone through — facing uncertainty regarding my future, becoming a published author, and transcending through the valley of despair after losing Helen — brought me greater blessings that I could have ever imagined. What a year!

The most important thing I’ve gained is Jesus. But the second most important thing I found was my destiny. I was made to be a writer / thinker. And that is so exciting. The things I could write about is so broad and vast. And that’s one reason why my site does not have a main theme … yet.

(Being a writer is only a portion of my revelation to you. I was also made to be something else … which is what the secret project is all about. It will shock you if you found out. Let’s just say I got two fistful of cake and got to stuff it into my mouth as well.)

So basically, I get to read, to learn, and to expand my mind — things I would have done on my free time without pay. Then I get to share with the world through digital ink what I think and imagine. And finally, I get to prance around and anticipate money piling on into my bank account as I sleep.

Yes, I am spoiled.

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  1. Hey Alex, i stumbled upon your blog because of the Bold and Determined article that you have (a good article by the way) then I backtracked my way here. A couple of questions… when did you write this article? What kickstarted you into starting your blog? Ballpark income for your online endeavors?(if you don’t mind) I ask not because I want to copy you, just want a little guidance before jumping in.

  2. I meant to say when did you start the blog not when did you write this article

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