Are You a Boss or a Simp?


You met many guys like these …

They look flashy and can talk a mile a minute.  They speak like they got a good game going — that they’re making it in the world. They talk about how much money they’re making. How many girls they’re pulling. How much respect they’re earning.

But the truth is that these guys have no substance. They are all talk. They have no money. They have no girls. They have no respect. All they have are empty words. They don’t know how to speak the language of boss players: money and action.

In the black community, these guys are known as simple pimps, or “simps.” They have existed for a long time. They are as old as lies.

On the flip side, there are the boss players, or “bosses.” They too have existed for a long time. They are as old as action.

The Boss Player and the Simple Pimp

It took a must-read book, Black Player – The Secret World of Black Pimps, to open my eyes to the characteristics of winners and losers in the black community.  The boss players (the top dog in the black community) and the self-made entrepreneur are essentially brothers from a different world, as are the simple pimp (the underdog) and the wantrepreneur:

It is said that “there are as many games as there are players,” yet it soon becomes clear that players fall into two very basic categories: those who have made it or are going to, and those who never will. In the language of The Life, one could designate these as the “boss players” and the “simple pimps,” and they are divided by their ability to use The Life rather than be used by it.

Self-confidence is the hallmark of the boss player. Some are dropouts from the Black middle class, although there are upwardly mobile individuals from the urban ghetto and from rural backgrounds as well. To spring from a family of nine children on a small farm in Arkansas, as one man did, and to reject the square ladder to modest security requires a fiercely independent personality, a real nonconformist. The simple pimp is neither upwardly mobile nor is he a nonconformist. His image of what he might achieve is limited by his lack of self-confidence and his conformity to the brotherhood-in-failure syndrome of the ghetto. Simple pimps having “running partners,” and are rarely seen alone, while the boss player almost always arrives and leaves by himself.

Never does the boss player use his Black skin as an excuse for failure; he conceives of himself as a universal man. His race is a factor to be included in his strategy and used positively whenever possible. If it is a detriment in any situation, it is to be overcome by his wits. The boss player’s concept of himself is as a superman, a loner, not as a brother to any man.

Nor does he need to keep proving his masculinity to the fellows on the street.

In contrast, the simple pimp is easily insulted and is always surrounded by men who bolster each other’s ego and self-confidence.

The simple pimp who will hustle every day of his life to remain right where he is subject to pressure from within himself and from outside to be no better than his brothers. To succeed is as threatening as ego loss, loss of identity, loss of identification with his people. He is unable to imagine who he would be if he succeeded, and so he defines himself as successful in terms of his own culture if he has only mastered the day-to-day survival game.

On the other hand, the boss player seeks to escape the other lobsters in the basket and their attempts to keep him down by rejecting their “jive” and their clannish brotherhood-in-failure. The boss player is nobody’s brother.

Which One Are You?

I see that no matter which color you are or which culture you come from, there will always be winners and losers. Doers and whiners. Bosses and simps.

A boss is self-reliant. He is self-confident. He does not make excuses because his actions and his money speak for themselves.

A simp is dependent upon others. He lacks confidence. He has many words, but no substance. He is full of excuses.

“I can’t get ahead because the man keeps me down.”

“Girls don’t like me because I’m short.”

“I’m 30 years old and I’m still living with my mama because no one will hire me.”

Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. They’re nothing but excuses — reasons to keep a simp from winning.

Take a hard look at yourself. Be truthful.

Are you making money or making excuses?

Are you the real deal or are you a wanna-be?

Are you a boss player or are you a simple pimp?

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  1. Man! This is a hard question to answer because it goes in deep! For me I like to make moves and make money anywhere at anytime i can, but i also work a 9 to 5 5 days a week.
    I was never the type of man who needed others around me to stroke my ego. I was always by myself and if i decided to do something i thought would be a good idea i kept to myself and went ahead and did it. I have failed many times trying to make whatever idea i had at that time. But that did not deter me as i quickly cleaned myself off and started on another venture.
    Now i decided to blog and trying to figure out how i can make this blog make some cash for me. Most of my time is spent reading blogs like this one and talking to their owners as i like to network so its natural for me. I think i fall in the Simp category for now because i’m still working a 9 to 5 and in order for me to be “Boss!” then i gotta find a way to get out of the rat race! Once that happens then i will be “Boss!”
    Great post Alex!

    • Bro,

      Even bosses start from the beginning. If you’ve failed, just get up, dust yourself off, and try again. Having a 9 to 5 job doesn’t mean you’re a simp. It is the mindset. Are you relying on it to cruise through life? Or is it a stepping stone to your future goals? Are you making active steps to be a better?

      You’re making efforts to write and to learn new things. That is commendable. Can you keep on working towards becoming a good copywriter, a good blogger, or whatever your goal is? Can you shrug off other people’s comments about you? How you’ll fail. How you’re doing things all wrong just because it is different. If you can, you have the mindset of a boss.

      Once you have the mindset of a boss, do you have the endurance of a boss? Because if you keep on persevering, you’ll have all the material trappings of one.

      • Hmmm. This is insightful. After growing up in simp mode for many years, it won’t be easy to shake off. But I’ve read this blog and others – I’ve been warned.

  2. There is no contact page?

  3. Bob Smith says:

    Hey Alex,
    Damn, you write very well. Kudos to you, sir!

    You are absolutely right when it comes to losers and winners:

    A loser will always be full of excuses, will whine incessantly, will complain about everything, will blame others, and will never take initiative to better himself.

    A winner will not allow excuses to rule him, will never whine about his lot in life, will not blame others but himself, and will always take action for a better future.



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