Re-Defining the Alpha Male


The other day, I came across this article defining the alpha male. The theme of the article is summarized in this key paragraph:

Make no mistake, at the most fundamental level the CRUX of a man’s worth is measured by his desirability to women, whether he chooses to play the game or not.  Pussy is the holy grail.  That is why the obese, socially maladroit nerdboy who manages to unlock the gate to the secret garden and bang a 10 regularly is an alpha male.  And that is also why the rich, charming entrepreneur who because of an emotional deficiency or mental sickness lives mired in parched celibacy is not an alpha male. 

It sounds good to the obese, socially maladriot nerdboy that all he has to do is to get hot girls. Then he can be a real man, a top dog.

This is a lie with only a kernel of truth. (And the fact this definition is being quoted around the web a few times means that the lie is taking hold of the impressionable, young minds.)

Alright, let’s get real here … It is time to re-define alpha. So what is alpha?

Think about the top male in a pack of animals. What comes into mind? Yes, he is the one who gets the choice females. But that’s not all. He is also the strongest and the most dominant among the group. He leads the pack. He gets first dibs on the food.

So basically, alpha characteristics include the following:

  • Self. He has the qualities of a leader — dominance. Other men look up to him.
  • Money. He has the most resources.
  • Women. He has his choices of females.

Therefore, defining alpha in terms of women is only partially correct. But partial truths are as damaging as outright lies. When the young buck thinks that being alpha means banging a lotta women, he is short-changing himself in the long run. Sure, maybe he will one day get enough “game” and be Casanova. But great men are not mere seducers. Great men do great things. And getting women is not one of them.

There is more to man than getting women.

The 3 Pursuits of Man — Revisited

In the 3 pursuits of man, self is the most important pursuit. Money is the second most important. And woman is the least important.

Again, woman is the least of the 3 pursuits. (She can be a blessing if you have a girl with the right character. But most likely than not, especially among the modern, you-go-girl type of women, you’ll have a difficult time finding this blessing. And if she’s not a blessing, then she’s a curse. Not having a woman in your life is much better than having a toxic woman in your life.)

So why would anyone want to define alpha by the least important criteria?

Chateau Heartiste’s definition seems to focus on “game” — the art of seduction. But what if you’re as suave as a pimple-faced adolescent, as confident as a kid who just told his first lie, but as rich as Bill Gates? You will still get truck loads of hot women. They will still be insanely attracted to you — or rather your money. Does that count as alpha?

According to the old definition — yes.

And that’s wrong. Lemme tell you why …

The Re-Definition of Alpha

The old definition falls way short. There has to be a new definition … a re-definition. Alpha defines the inner quality of a man, not what he has. He is secure in himself. He is confident in himself. He changes what he can and accepts what he can’t. He has skills and add value to society. He knows how to trade his value for money. He can survive and support himself without other people supporting him. He overcomes his fears. He is not afraid to ask for what he wants. That, my friend, is alpha.

And once he has the personality and the resources, the women will naturally fall into his lap.

A true alpha does not focus on women. They will naturally come. A few women may not, but he doesn’t care either way. A true alpha focuses on self.

So, let’s go back to Chateau Heartiste’s example:

The obese, socially maladroit nerdboy who somehow becomes Lothario is not an alpha male. (He is more like an anomaly.) He lacks the most essential quality of a top dog — self.

The rich, charming entrepreneur is an alpha. He has self and he has money. Women will naturally want to be with him. He definitely has options. But he doesn’t really care either way — which is why he is emotionally deficient.

The Damage of Focusing on Game

A lot of guys like to focus on gaming girls. It is understandable, because a lot of these guys are relatively young. Maybe you’re one of them. So the only thing you think about are girls, girls, and more girls.

Convincing girls to get into bed does not, by itself, make you an alpha. When you are gaming, you may give the impression that you are an alpha. By the way you dress, by the way you act, and so forth.

Sure, you can get good at playing pretend. You can get a lot of notches on your bed post by being an imitation of the real thing. But if girls are the only things you focus on, you’re casting yourself as a one-trick pony. At the end of the day, you’re still broke. And your confidence is still a fragile little flower that wilts without the slightest female validation.

But what if girls need no convincing … just because your reputation precedes you. They see who you really are when you are not trying to impress them. They know you are successful, self-confident, and filthy rich. This, my friend, is the better guy. A true alpha. Not some wanna-be.

Instead of chasing girls and defining self-worth by the notches on the bed post, define your worth by who you are. Your character. Your mind. Your spirit. Your skills. Your unbreakable confidence.

The great men in history are not known for seducing. Did you know that Benjamin Franklin was a ladies man, even when he was 300 lb tub of lard? You probably didn’t know that, but it’s true. Why is his girl-chasing ability not well-known? Because it is not important. Getting girls is not a great achievement.

So what is he known for then? Most people know him for his inventions (such as the printing press) and for his contribution to the beginnings of the USA. These are great achievements that will be immortalized for all times.

Don’t be a mere seducer. Be a great man. A true alpha male.

Work on yourself. Then the girls will come a knockin’.

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  1. anonymous says:

    Great post.I took one of Cheatues alpha male test and at the end lowered my self esteem.
    I think your definition of alpha hits the nail right on the spot.Thanks

    As for Franklin getting the ladies haha,i first heard of it by watching this video

  2. True a man goal in life is not about banging chicks all the time. If that were the case we would still be probably living in caves grunting at each other. Fortunately though we man are a lot more complicated and have many other things or ideas we like to pursue.

    As for me i tend to concentrate more on my self.

    Learning things like Love, Kindness, Honor,Self Reliance, Self Respect, Self Confidence as well as learning to control fear. Yeah i know it sounds cheesy but i feel that as men we have many levels and if you can learn more about your “Self” you will be more comfortable and more confident with yourself.
    I think concentrating on one goal which only gives you a quick gratification is only good at that moment. Now do not get me wrong banging chicks is a great past time and i enjoyed doing it when i was single but it never helped me to better my life or career it was just another notch and that was it.
    A man should always take the time to better himself
    Great Post Alex

  3. Alex, this definition is long overdue . In too many articles on the manosphere, I read about being an alpha as only about banging women and being a PUA.

    The true alpha male is a man among men. A leader, a go-to guy for everything. Strong, dominant, and competitive.

    Outstanding post brother!


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