The 6 Traits of the Charismatic Woman

I said it again and again:

Charisma is power spiced with presence and warmth.

Charisma is not moral. It is instinctual. Natural.

To prove the point, let me begin with a story about a friend of a friend:

My friend, through her travels, befriended a 50-something year old Caucasian woman — Laura (not her real name). At first, they got along really well and hung out all the time.

They opened up and shared their personal stories. Laura shared that she was on her third marriage. The first two failures were not her fault.

My friend — Veronica (not her real name) sympathized. Laura was such a wonderful woman. Of course the two previous men wronged her.

After a few months, Laura’s cracks began to show. Veronica stayed as a guest in Laura’s house. It was winter and V wanted the house a bit warmer. Laura, approaching the end of middle age, possessed ample natural insulation. (Think walrus.) The house was warm enough because Laura was warm enough. Thus, she will not touch the thermostat.

Another time, they had lunch with Laura’s friend, another middle-aged lady who divorced but did not have the luck to remarry. The three ladies had a splendid time until Laura said, “I am so lovely. I married three times and now, I have a husband who loves me to bits!” (She always needed to compliment herself.)

The comment did not go well with the divorcee. Women are naturally competitive. And if Laura was so lovely to marry three times, what does that say about her friend who could not remarry? Arguments ensued.

What a way to ruin a perfectly good lunch.

My dear reader, as an astute and intelligent person, you could already tell how lovely Laura really is.

Her third husband certainly thought so. Not in the way you and I see her. He really thought she was charming. He beamed with pride at his “catch.”

How could the woman who would alienate her friends due to her selfishness keep a husband?

Because she is charismatic.

She dresses up and puts on make-up. She tells him nice things like how much he means to her. During parties, she kisses him and hugs him and boasts about him to others. She cooks for him. She agrees with him.

In essence, she plays the woman’s role perfectly in his presence. Story’s different when he’s not there.

Everyone besides the husband knows who she really is. She only loves herself. He’s only a tool — a means to an end. But because he doesn’t see her true self, he doesn’t know any better. And if anyone was heartless enough to reveal the truth, love turns a blind eye to the truth. He would not listen

She learned well after two failed marriages.

The Psychopathic Woman

The story above is more common than you may think. Sadly, if you are the mark, you won’t spot women like her until it is too late.

I encountered a site that explains how female psychopaths con their marks, who are usually men. Look at it. Read the story in the first page.

Can you see why women like them are so alluring? (Hint: I gave the answer already.)

Because they play the women’s role well.

Psychopaths are emotionally blunted. Love, fear, anxiety, happiness. Those emotions are all present but dialed down. The only emotion left to full blast is anger.

Thus, they are not clouded by emotions and can think strategically, often leading to good results. The female version could care less about being a man’s equal. That’s meaningless and doesn’t yield tangible results. They want to know how to spellbound men. They want the money and assets. They want total control.

And the best way to do that is to strike at men’s weakness.

Strong, independent women possess masculine, direct power. Hence, they repel men.

Helpless, dependent women possess feminine, indirect power. Hence, they attract men.

A psychopathic women on a mission will adopt which trait? The second one. They will develop female charisma.

Remember, femininity attracts masculinity. Weakness attracts strength. Passivity attracts aggressivity.

Men reach success through masculinity. They fight their way to the top and keep on fighting to stay top dog. Successful men do not want to go home to a female version of themselves. They want to go home to women who possess opposite traits. They want feminine women.

It does not matter what the media tells you. It does not matter what schools tell you. It does not matter what politically correct society tells you.

The truth remains unchanged:

Men and women are different.

If I Was a Woman, This Is What I’ll Do

God smiled at me because He created me as a man. Even in the feminized society, I consider myself lucky. But if the fortunes were reversed and I was born a women (and assuming I know everything I know now), I would do things differently from the average woman.

First, I would understand the role each sex plays:

A man’s role is to control his destiny by shaping the world through the sheer force of his might.

A woman’s role is to reach her destiny by controlling a successful (read: masculine) man through her softness. The best way to control a man is through marriage, especially with the law on your side.

Second, I would play the female role to the best of my abilities. To do so, I would hone my female charisma into a knife that can pierce through any man’s heart.

The way to do that? Remember that charisma is power spiced with presence and warmth. Thus, I would harness feminine power.

Third, I would then marry the best man I can — solidifying my future (family and assets) without having to worry about the deterioration of my looks due to age.

It’s all about getting results.

How a Woman Can Increase Her Charisma

Listen up, ladies! What I am about to reveal will be the secret to getting the man of your dreams. If you follow my advice, you will maximize your charisma to men. And because of my generous heart, I won’t even charge you a penny.

I am an introspective man. I thought deeply about why a few special women attract my attention while most don’t. And I came up with 6 traits that embody female charisma.

If you adopt these traits, you can attract men of high caliber. (However, I cannot tell you how a woman can be charismatic to other women. That is outside my experiences.)

Incorporate the following 6 traits into the core of your being and you will be a charismatic woman that men will fight for:

1. Dependent

A girl lamented to me once, “Men used to want strong, independent women. What happened now?”

I replied, “When in history did men prefer strong, independent women over one young & ample chested? Surely not 100 years ago when most women married in their late teens and early 20’s.”

While men should be self-sufficient, women should be dependent. Dependency means that you must rely on someone. You need him (like how children depend on their parents to survive). Before the 20th century, women depended on their father and then their husband to make ends meet.

Men never called for women to be strong and independent. Women did. Women projected what they wanted in a man onto themselves and turned into masculinized aberrations. These women, if they do marry, end up settling for their equally unappealing counterparts — soft, passive men.

The allure of a dependent woman is not due to some conspiracy to keep women down. Rather, the responsible person will feel needed. That makes him feel important.

Men enjoy providing for dependent (and unentitled) women. It’s in our DNA. It makes us feel like a man. And women enjoy being provided for. It’s in their DNA. It makes them feel like a woman.

It’s natural.

Which women after being married look forward to working more hours in the corporate jungle and providing for the family? None.

Which women after being married look forward to working less, if at all, and being provided for? Pretty much all of them.

How to acquire dependency?

The best way to become dependent is to learn how to be a housewife instead of an employee. Learn how to cook, sew, and take care of the house. Do not go to college after finishing high school.

I know this opposes what culture tells you. But then again, modern culture does not produce charismatic women. Why do you think Western women feel threatened by the less-educated foreign women?

Dependency is not really about becoming a good housewife, but about being unable to fend for yourself. By focusing on housework instead of work-work, a woman will have no fallback option and cannot be anything but dependent.

Risky, I know. What if the knight turns out to be a dud? Or worse, what if Prince Charming never shows up. With the plummeting marriage rate and outrageous divorce rate, the chance of remaining alone and uncared for is real.

All true. All the more reason to become the most charismatic woman to snag the best man. I don’t have a crystal ball, but I can predict the future: more and more women will face the future with a room of cats instead of with their own family. Strong and independent women are at the most risk of kitty overload.

Look at all the leftover women in China. In a land where men outnumber women, a woman who wants to pair up but cannot is doing something wrong.

Want to know the common denominator to the leftovers? You’re smart. You already know the answer.

If you want to hedge your bet, become independent. But then you better amp up the other 5 traits, which is very unlikely when you choose to fight your way up like a man. Choosing to be independent and uncharismatic, you may end up like one of my former classmates — 50-something-year-old, single woman struggling with life. Kicked out of school. Multiple six-figures in student loans. No job.

She’s done. She’s alone. But hey, she’s independent.

2. Submissive

While men should be dominant, women should be submissive. Submission means that you allow the other person to lead. You listen more than you speak. Even if you know more (or think you do), allow the man to lead instead of trying to fight for control.

Because submission is so important, God instructed wives to submit to their husbands.

The last girl I took a chance on blew it because she would not submit. Almost every time we talked, we got into an argument. She always wanted to argue her cases. Of course, I destroyed her cases with logic. One after the other, day after day, arguments!

Finally, I had it. I said, “It’s not going to work. You’re not submissive.”

She replied, “I am.”

“No, you’re not. And you know it.”

She knew I was right. “I could be.”

“No, you can’t. That’s not who you are.”

Had she been submissive, the story could have ended differently. I still remember the conversations. The arguing and the shouting. The whirlwind of emotions. So unpleasant. So very uncharismatic. Hopefully, she will find a submissive man and be happy with him.

How to acquire submissiveness?

The best way to become submissive is to trust. Trust him to take care of you. Trust him to have your best interest in mind. Let him lead. Listen more. Again, counter-cultural advice and impossible for the modern woman.

Submissiveness works so well, even psychopathic women do it. If you can curb you ego, you can obtain passive power and ultimately get what you want.

3. Beautiful

While men should be capable, women should be beautiful – outwardly, physically. Capable men attract women. Beautiful women attract men.

What is up with the modern women’s aversion to staying hot even after snagging a husband? I encountered this article about a young wife who realized that staying beautiful makes her husband happy. A happy husband then leads to a good marriage. The comments revealed much bitterness. The naysayers, mostly women past their prime (as per the profile pictures), called her stupid, ugly, and sad.

If someone published an article titled, Staying Rich for My Wife Is ESSENTIAL to a Successful Marriage, most men would agree. One of the most common fights during a marriage is over money. Of course, you’ll have the broke & lazy duds that argue, “No, all you need is game!” But successful and soon-to-be successful men will agree that money is important.

You will feel cheated if you expected a house in the suburbs with a white-picket fence but ended up in a van down by the river. An ugly wife is that van down by the river. A beautiful woman that turns ugly is like a rich man that turns poor. Beauty is THAT important to men. A man can overlook so many deficiencies — her nasty attitude, her looselessness, her stupidity — if a woman possesses great beauty.

Beauty is the number one trait that makes a woman charismatic.

How to acquire beauty?

The best way to become beautiful is to be young and stay thin. You can’t control your age, but you can control how you age. Cigarettes, excess alcohol, and drugs accelerate the aging process. Staying out in the sun too long wrinkles the skin.

You can also control your body size. So eat healthy food. Eat in moderation. Get your butt out of the chair and sweat a little every day. Staying thin, but healthy, offers the most bang for the buck. It is the 80/20 rule. Make it a habit to live a healthy lifestyle.

If your weight is under control, then focus on the grooming, make up, and plastic surgery. A fat, well-groomed, and enhanced woman with make-up will lose to a thin plain-Jane any day.

You may cry, “Fat-shaming!” Frankly, I don’t care if you’re fat or not. As long as I don’t have to sit next to you in a crowded space, be as fat as you want. There’s no shame in having more width, but there’s certainly no charisma either.

And one more thing: look feminine. Long hair. Skirts. Heels. No visible tattoo. (No tattoo preferable.)

4. Nurturing

While men should be passionate and dream big, women should be nurturing and family-focused. Nurturing means you build up. You are gentle and kind. When things go wrong for the other person, you lift him up. When your kids run into your arms with tears streaming down their face, you wipe away their tears and tell them, “Everything will be ok.”

A man who marries is usually a man who wants a family. The nurturing trait tells the man you are wife material. Top men, those with unlimited options, tend to pair up with women in supporting (read: nurturing) roles  — like teachers, secretaries, nurses, and maids.

Even men who don’t want families cannot help but be drawn into nurturing women. Men only tolerate sass and attitude when the women possess great physical beauty.

How to acquire the nurturing trait?

The best way to become nurturing is to soften your heart. Stop being angry. Stop casting blame on the world and for once, try to make it better. Stop being selfish. It’s not all about you. Do something nice for someone. Feminists will say, “This is weakness and oppression.” But behind closed doors, the same feminists will write in their tear-stained diaries, “Won’t someone just love me?”

Sorry, but their hearts are too hard for love to penetrate through. No one loves the unlovable, except for God. Being lovable is true feminine power. Being unlovable is the feminist curse.

5. Selective

While men should be playful, women should be selective. Selectivity means two things.

First, she doesn’t not open up to people easily. Victor Pride wrote an excellent article about shyness in a woman. A shy woman is more likely to show restraint, which leads to the second point.

Second, she doesn’t give her body easily. Ideally, only to her husband. Counter-cultural advice that rages feminists.

Men are possessive. Love is possessive. And people naturally take care of things that belong to them. Things that belong to the public are used and abused and throw to the side. See tragedy of the commons.

Women who want to treat themselves like common property can do so. There will be many takers and users. She will feel thrilled and liberated for a moment. But at the end of the day, she belongs to no one — certainly not someone with options.

Selectivity (or the appearance of it) is charismatic. I will prove it. Do women generally exaggerate, tell the truth, or minimize the amount of partners they have?

You already know the answer.

People value scarce things. A woman who makes her body scarce will more likely marry than one who doesn’t.

On the flip side, a wife who gives her body away to someone besides her husband is downright repulsive. The fastest way for man to lose his love for a woman is for him to find out she cheated. To find out that she is not solely his.

How to acquire selectivity?

Practice self-restraint. Don’t give into your hormones until you marry. Then once you marry, don’t give into your hormones to anyone else besides your husband.

You may argue that the men will leave if you don’t give in. Well, let them leave because they’re not the type that will marry you anyways. The type that will marry you are the ones that will wait. Selectivity is for your protection.

6. Benevolent

This is the only trait that charismatic men and women share. Thus, the following is from my article about charismatic men:

Of the 6 traits, this is the least important one for being charismatic. And all you need is a sprinkle of it. Benevolence means having the other person’s best interest at heart. People cannot see what’s in your heart, so they only things they can see are your words and actions.

Be present. When someone speaks to you, maintain good eye contact to show you are paying full attention. Look interested in what they have to say. Smile. This way, people will feel you are warm and approachable. Act civilized. Know your manners. Seem trustworthy. Don’t break your word unnecessarily. Basically, give the impression that someone can rely on you to have their back.

How to acquire benevolence?

You can’t acquire benevolence. You either care for the person or you don’t. No matter the case, you just have to seem like you care. This is the trait you can fake for a short time. Sociopaths are good at this. Study how people interact. Study social etiquette. Make sure you do these two things:

Give the person your undivided attention for a short while to make him feel like he matters. Smile once in a while so people will feel you are warm and approachable.

Key Points

Look at this photo:

It is quite charismatic. Can you tell me why? (Hint: Think about the 6 traits.)

Based on the photo, she meets 3 charismatic traits.

First, she’s Asian. So that’s associated with submissiveness, rightly or wrongly.

Second, she’s thin and young, which puts her in the top 33% in terms of looks. As an added bonus, she even looks feminine with long hair, make up, a dress, and no visible tattoo.

Third, the dog almost melts in her hand with happiness. And thus, she seems nurturing.

(A photo of a thin Asian man cuddling with a golden Labrador Retriever would not have the same appeal.)

And because charisma is power spiced with presence and warmth, you should focus on maximizing your feminine power.

First and foremost, focus on physical beauty. Men are visual. Beauty is non-negotiable.

Second, develop the appearance of weakness — by being dependent and submissive. You can be a tigress at heart for all I care, but you must seem weak. In doing so, you will have the hearts of countless men wrapped around your little pinky.

Third, throw in some nurturing, motherly instinct and selectivity (the scarcer the better) and you will be marriage material.

Fourth, add a pinch of focused attention and smile often and you can get any marriage-minded men on their knees, asking for your hand.

Act on my advice and you will marry a top-tier man. Be careful though. Expect lots of jealousy from your gal pals.

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  1. The Truth Is says:

    Well many women nowadays are very strong and very independent which i will certainly admit that since they can really make it on their own with no man in their life at all. However which the biggest problem today is that most of these women do have the worse personality of them all and really think that they’re all that which their not at all. Their attitude problem is so very out of control as well since many of these type of women really have no respect for us good men at all since it is usually all about them much of the time. I have seen many marriages that have failed over this which it is quite a shame since once these women were given this power now really has changed them for the worst of all unfortunately since it does take two to tango to make the marriage work.

  2. OMG I really want to slap you!! Im a woman, nearly fifty and was a doormouse my whole life. Im getting my mojo now and finding my strength and confidence. After searching on line for what makes a charismatic woman, I find your page. This following bit made me FURIOUS:
    “God smiled at me because He created me as a man. Even in the feminized society, I consider myself lucky. But if the fortunes were reversed and I was born a women (and assuming I know everything I know now), I would do things differently from the average woman.

    First, I would understand the role each sex plays:

    A man’s role is to control his destiny by shaping the world through the sheer force of his might.
    A woman’s role is to reach her destiny by controlling a successful (read: masculine) man through her softness. The best way to control a man is through marriage, especially with the law on your side.”

    Well first of all there IS no ‘god’ that is a male construct to subjugate us all, especially women. Then NO NO NO a woman’s role is NOT to control a man in any way, never mind that way. I cannot believe what rubbish you actually believe!! WE do not need men at all, we do NOT need to marry a man or control a man. YES I do hope you are a woman in your next life… OH please yes! Married to a wife beating Christian mysogynist. then you might learn a thing or two

    • Alex Ding says:

      You’re funny. And obviously very single.

    • Single And Not By Choice says:

      The comment above you is right you know since many women today are nothing at all like the real good old fashioned ladies that we once had. And it is a real shame that they’re all gone and taken since many of us good single men would’ve really wanted that kind of a woman that really did put these women today to real shame altogether. Gee wiz, this is the real excellent reason why so many of us men are still single today since most of us i would say have really no reason at all to blame ourselves to begin with.

    • Anya, thank you.

      Those exact lines you quoted that made you angry made me cry. I also stumbled upon this during a search out of curiosity about how people make sense of the terms “charisma” and “women” together. It seems a very gendered word, but I wasn’t expecting this perspective.

      There are so many things wrong with this article, worst the admission of extreme mistreatment of the author’s ex, who clearly was not in the author’s life to share love and affection with.

      Next is the author’s attempt to make sense of a messy, complicated mix of personalities, behaviors, preferences, and roles that can exist in any combination across genders, by imposing rigid, categorical “rules” of behavior, and concluding that most everyone is doing it wrong.

      The world, and all the individuals in it, is more complicated than that. Including you, author. It’s a beautiful chaos. Where does this need to put everyone in rigid boxes come from? When is the first time you remember thinking this way?

      • Alex Ding says:

        No need to cry. You are free to read another article more suitable to your tastes. There are tons of them, just not on my site.

        “Extreme mistreatment” is a lot of projection on your part. But then again, I guess hurting feelings qualifies as that. Yet, when women out there endure through real “extreme mistreatment,” just as being raped by refugees and being incarcerated in Iran for speaking out, I wouldn’t hear a peep from women like you because no feelings were hurt.

        Rigid boxes? I suppose you believe in 50+ genders as well.

        Chaos isn’t beautiful. Chaotic cells = cancer. Chaotic society = 3rd world and dangerous. I doubt even the food you eat is chaotic. They are cooked, presented nicely, clean, etc.

  3. The issue isnt that men and women need to be in their respective roles, its that the man who marries a woman will either treat her properly or not. As a woman, you can submit, be feminine all you want and if the man doesnt give a fuck then how is that the womans fault? The issue is really the man and his morality and treatment of women that he vows to take care of, pure and simple.

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