The Curse of Beauty


The cosmetic industry is a multi-billion dollar industry in the United States and other first-world countries. Wherever you turn, you see beauty glorified. The pictures of hot girls are plastered everywhere. On advertisements, magazines, television programs, and more.

It is not surprising that many women’s primary goal is to be beautiful. But in the end, they will find out that it is an empty goal. All that effort, time, and money will be for nothing.

The following is a tragedy that is repeated year after year. Read it with great care (especially if you obsess over your looks):

When I was in my early 20s in some ways I was a celebrity. I could walk down the street and meet a guy and get a date. I’ve hitched a ride in a limo. I once had 7 dates in a week. I lived with dozens of people in share houses — musicians, night club owners, actors, writers, film makers, creative inspiring awesome people. I was wild and out there and my social life was out of control. I went to parties and coffee dates — everyday, sometimes several times a day.

I did a degree in Creative Writing and Politics. I did work experience at magazines, worked in dozens of temp jobs, everyone said I was the girl with “all the potential.” I quit jobs. I got new ones.

Now, I currently write letters for a local council. I do everything from researching and compiling responses for insurance claims and writing letters from the mayor that require a response from maintenance of parks, roads or buildings. Don’t have the million bucks. I don’t own a flat. I live in my parents basement. I am in a boring city and have barely a social life.

After 10 years, I realised how I have become bitter, having chats with grads at work — they think the world is their oyster. I thought I would change the world and revolutionise it, eliminate poverty and do something deep and intellectual and meaningful and significant. I was very interested in international development and wanted to be a foreign correspondent, foreign aid worker, diplomat and political journalist. I think I have lost some confidence, but had a few setbacks along the way made me a bit resentful.

In her youth, this girl was most likely a stunner. Because a person with youth, beauty, and a vagina instantly gets rockstar status, she was riding high with the good-looking, rich, and power players of society. For a long while, she had it made. She got dates, mates, jobs, and a place to live … all with ease. Girls wanted to be her, guys wanted to be with her.

But depending on beauty is like building a house on sand. Eventually, the unsteady foundation will crumble and the house will collapse.

As she got older …

As she took in toxins and drugs …

As she stressed her body through excess partying …

Her beauty faded away. Maybe she got a bit heavier. Maybe her skin started to loosen. But whatever the case may be, the top echelon of society no longer wanted anything to do with her.

It’s a new year, and there’s a new girl. She no longer had anything valuable to offer.

Now, she is bitter, all alone, and living in her parent’s basement. Oh, how the mighty has fallen.

This is what happens to those who depend on beauty. It would have been much wiser for her to focus on something that would not fade so quickly.

For her, securing her power should have been easy to do so. She should have married some rich fool. In that case, she would have been protected by the heavily-biased, family law.

How Guys Make the Same Mistake as Gals

I know there are lots of guys who would point at the girl and say, “Ha! She deserved it.”

But this mistake does not apply to only girls. Guys make the same mistake. Especially nowadays, many of them are as vain as girls.

Most guys wouldn’t spend money on eye-liners, make-up, and lipsticks. Instead, they sacrifice their resources to the god, Brodin. They spend a huge amount of time at the gym. They spend a lot of money on protein shakes and hormones. They put on way too much hair gel. And they pay way too much attention to some magazine that tells them how to dress.

But you gotta realize … Powerful men don’t become powerful because of their looks. They become powerful because of what they can do — of what they can bring to the table.

Thus, a boss player does not concern himself with what fades, but with what stays.

Focus on true power. Learn how to be indispensable. A lot of time, being indispensable is not getting physically stronger. Sure, you can deadlift 400 lbs. But a crane can always out-lift you. Instead, be mentally stronger. See things that others don’t see. And do things that others don’t do.

There will be a time when you get old and your body deteriorates. When all the time spent in the gym will be for nothing. But the works produced by a sharp mind is eternal.

This advice goes against popular opinion … and for good reason. If you wanna be average, do what everyone else does. If you wanna be superior, do what others can’t do.

It won’t be easy. Things worth doing are never easy. But if you take the easy road and short-cuts, don’t be surprised when you find yourself resentful of others who have more hope than you, all alone, and living in your parents’ basement.

Don’t be a girly-boy. Be a truly powerful man.

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  1. People always like to take the least path of resistance to achieve their goals. Most women especially use their looks to get ahead and do not bother with learning anything else. Society has taught these people that in order to get ahead all you need are your looks and that’s it. It’s sad to see people believing in that propaganda as if looking a certain way or being a part of a certain group will guarantee you success! It will not!

    I was never part of that following as i concentrated more on learning and becoming mentally strong. I worked on my power while these guys were parading around like zoolander fronting like they have the money but can barely pay for the gas for their BMW. I kept at my work building my knowledge it took years to get to where now i feel i have become indispensable in my life and career as an IT person.

    Power is not achieved by looks, Power is achieved by building something or becoming indispensable like you said. No one wants to be a “Has Been”, no one wants to sulk about how good they were in the past. Those days are gone! Luckily you still have time to build up your power to rearrange your old sources and build new ones.

    Alex as always great post my brother!

    Power comes from building and not from looking good. Anyone can look good but few know how to gain power.

    • Glad to have you comment, Jose.

      You seem to get it. That is why when I reach the top, I expect to see you there.

      Keep on building and becoming indispensable.

  2. Wan Muhammad Zulfikri Wan Yusoff says:

    Reading your post it reminded me of how we have become a society of using beauty as a measuring stick.

    Ugly, beautiful, average looking – what the heck is going on?!!!

    I like what you said on being indispensable. It’s a fair attribute because everyone can develop it unlike beauty which relies too much on how you are born and your environment.

    Everyone can be indispensable. Period.

    Thanks Alex.

    • Alex Ding says:

      Hey Wan,

      I’m glad you got the message. I strongly believe it is not what you are born with that counts, but how well you make use of what you got. I took a look at your site and it is quite interesting.

      Keep up the writing!

  3. Great article, Alex. I definitely agree with the underlying message. At the same time, it all depends on what your goals are and how clearly you can define them. It sounds to me like the hot girl in your example who ended up in her parents’ basement didn’t have clearly defined goals. To wit, “chang[ing] the world and revolution[izing] it, eliminat[ing] poverty and do[ing] something deep and intellectual and meaningful and significant” is very indefinite and fluffy. It’s like saying you want to get in shape. What exactly does that mean? Get down to 8% bodyfat? Run 5 miles in under 30 minutes? Squat x pounds for y reps? If you can’t clearly define your goals and make them measurable, you’ll never even be able to come up with a plan or plans for reaching them. She would have done herself a great service to say “I want to start a non-profit org that provides basic schooling for children ages 5-18 in Sierra Leone” (or wherever). I honestly think she could have had her cake and ate it too if she just sat down with a pen and paper and said “This is exactly what I want to do.” Then she could have used her attractiveness to get her closer to it.

    You see, I used to be a “don’t judge a book by its cover” stalwart and I guess I still am. But I now realize most people would in fact do well to pay just a bit more attention to how they present themselves. It IS a superficial world but that can play to your advantage. If she applied herself properly, she probably could have used her looks to attract attention from some Donald Trump analog and gotten him to donate 100k without even blowing him. Then she could have starred in her own Sally Struthers type of awareness informercial to raise money for her cause. I’m just throwing stuff out there now but you get the point.

    • Alex Ding says:

      Hey Tez,

      I see your point. You are correct that having good-looks is an advantage. But many people take it for granted. Why try hard when everything is given to you on a silver platter? That is why family fortunes usually do not last (at least without smartly planned trusts) . Most rich kids (who has access to more resources and connections) do not have the same motivation as starving kids.

      For those who do not use their beauty as the only means to get what they want, but as one out of many tools … they will certainly have an advantage. But too often, that is not the case.

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